Growing In Love

Dear Friend,

Early morning reading today invigorated my heart through the contemplation of St. John's life of growing in love.

The one theme that constantly runs through John's writings is the theme of LOVE. John sums it all up by telling us that Jesus gave to his followers a "new" commandment, and it was to "love one another." (It was "new" because Jesus added the "love others" line to the Shema of Judaism).


But John's own "story of love" is not completely pretty. It appears that John did not learn very much about love from his biological family. He learned love from Jesus!

As a young man, John was crusty and cranky. The gospels tell the truth of at least three significant "love failures" in the life of St. John:

1. John and his brother James (scholars believe they could have been Jesus' cousins) request: "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory." If love is service, as Jesus explained it, then John fails in love.

2. John's love for others is tested when he doesn't recognize the validity of someone exorcising demons in Jesus' name. John tries to stop the person from doing miracles and reports him to Jesus. Jesus' loving heart would never denounce someone who is breaking down demonic strongholds. He responds to John: "Whoever is not against us is for us." John failed in extending Christ's love to others--in this case, someone who was doing God's work.

3. John hears that some Samaritans refuse hospitality to Jesus "because he was heading for Jerusalem." John's response is: "Lord, do you want us to call fire down from heaven to destroy them?" Ouch! This "disciple of love" prays for hell to fall on these people. Jesus explains to his followers that they are not to think of Sodom and Gomorrah, to call for "ash in a flash," (Scot McNight's words) every time they encounter someone who doesn't respond properly! John's love for the Samaritans is tested, and he fails.

How does John grow into the apostle of love? Even though, when tested, he goes belly-up, the love he experiences in his relationship with Jesus eventually transforms John's story from Thunderbolt to an apostle of love. The would-be MVP becomes the anonymous loved one. Then he writes for us a theology of love.

Nothing is more important for the development of love than being loved. We may be taught the importance of love, but to experience it is to know it. John spent plenty of time with Jesus and in the context of this relationship, he comes to know what it is to be loved. John begins to refer to himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved."

Like John, you and I can grow into "apostles of love." I'll close today's entry with Henri Nouwen's powerful, practical challenge: "Becoming the Beloved means letting the truth of our Belovedness become enfleshed in everything we think, say, or do....As long as 'being the Beloved' is little more than a beautiful thought or a lofty idea that hangs above my life to keep me from becoming depressed, nothing really changes. What is required is to become the Beloved in the commonplaces of my daily existence...."

It is said that, as an old man, all John wanted to talk about was love. His own students were amazed at how loving he was. He would have been the first to remind them "it was not always so."

Your becoming loving friend!

Duff